Fear.. ahh I love that word. It doesn’t happen very often to me anymore, but when it does, it gets me excited because I know the feeling that comes right after overcoming fear. It feels like power, like energy coursing through your body. It feels like pride and achievement. It feels like a new wave of confidence and like you have just hopped a barrier that was holding you back from so much more that you now can explore. And the best part? I get this feeling no matter how the situation turns out.
Photo credit to Lidal-K. Skateboarder overcoming fear.
Being afraid is going to happen to you. It’s inevitable and it happens to everyone in the world at some point, but why does it happen? It happens because of worry. People worry that the outcome is not going to be the one they are hoping for. They think too much about what could go wrong and not enough about what could go right. They freak themselves out and decide that it’s better to not even give it a shot. They think it is better to stay where they are, right in their limited comfort zone. That way, nothing at all can happen. Nothing to worry about, right? Perhaps so, but where does that put you? In the same spot you were before. Stagnant in life. Put to a halt all because of an imaginary scenario that never even happened and I’m almost positive wouldn’t have happened at all. What are you, the worlds greatest psychic? I didn’t think so. The possibilities of outcomes are endless. There’s even a huge chance that the turnout is way better than you expected. Why not think about that?
Let’s make up a scenario where fear often gets in the way. We have a friend who has been single for some time now, but wants to get in a relationship. We’ll name him Melvin. Melvin is an average guy who likes playing video games and working on computers. He is the king of code and can solo any boss with half his gear on, but he’s ready to upgrade his floppy to a hard drive. Melvin has just one problem though, he is afraid of approaching girls. “What if they laugh at me? Why even try, they’re probably going to say no anyway.” This is the mindset Melvin has made himself feel about the situation. He worries himself over outcomes that didn’t happen. This has made him look at girls he likes and automatically decide not to try because “she’ll probably say no anyway”. One day, Melvin was at a comic book convention where he laid eyes on the most beautiful girl he ever saw. Now remember this, reader, the biggest side effect of hesitation is masturbation. Melvin knows this because he has been working on improving himself, so he walks right up to her like a boss. She turns to him and he says, “Hi, I’m Melvin.” She smiles and feels comfortable with him and gives her name too. They go on to talk about their favorite comic books and whatever else before Melvin has to get to the Draw-Your-Own-Superhero workshop. He asks for her number so they can chat again, and she gives it to him and says it was nice talking. Later on, Melvin sends her a text asking for a date. She tells him she has a boyfriend, but her single friend has the same favorite comic book as him and thinks they should meet. They meet at the coffee shop and she is the most beautiful girl he has ever laid eyes on.
So maybe Melvin didn’t get into a relationship with the girl from the comic book convention, but what did happen? He decided to take a chance and face his fear and talked to the girl. He stepped out of his comfort zone and felt great about it. He now has much more confidence and realized it really isn’t as hard as it seems. He feels accomplished and even though it didn’t work out how he wanted, he met someone else who may just be more of his kind of girl.
There are three ways any situation you’re afraid of can go. You can back down and feel nothing else but disappointment in yourself, you can take the chance and have it not go well and learn from the experience, as well as realize you’re now in the same spot as not trying, just without the disappointment, or you can go for it and have it work out wonderfully. In my book, two of these three are wins. Fear is a good thing. It signifies you’ve met your limit and have the opportunity to break through and feel phenomenal. It means you are now about to progress and step farther than you have before. It means you are about to push your comfort zone a little bit bigger. Keep pushing until there is no zone and you are just comfortable.
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